If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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