You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
