hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
