so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
