Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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