Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Found the puke drawer
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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