i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
