whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
