so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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