Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
