She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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