i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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