think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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