I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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