how can u be prego again
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
