i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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