Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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