I didn't shave. On purpose
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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