There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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