omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
