Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize