ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
