So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
