This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There r osticjed everywhere
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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