Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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