The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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