the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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