I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
