whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
