Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize