My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
