I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i think i just lost a toe
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
