But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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