My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Boobs speak an international language.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
