Me too!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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