i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
