watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
