you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
