Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
