Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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