i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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