I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
