His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
