It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
