GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
