Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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