Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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