Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
