gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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