Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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