So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
