It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
