Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize