This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
