You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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