its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
