Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
