imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
