eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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