i would punch a child for taco bell
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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