i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize